Well I let the cat out of the bag a few days ago on twitter...
Mark one off the 30 before 30 list!
It really does feel pretty surreal at this point. I didn't think it would happen so quickly.
I thought I'd share with you a bit about what has been going on in my mind lately. Watch out, my mind is a dangerous place to be, but I think many of you could benefit from all the things I have had to work out in the last few months. In fact, the following was written about a month ago when I was ready to shut down all of craftyminx. I knew I was just having one of my dark days and wasn't going to post it, but here's a little bit of it:
I started this blog ages ago when I wasn't sure what I wanted out of life. I loved crafting and sharing what I was doing with the world (or you know, the 10 people that were reading my blog at the time). I had a day job but it was pretty monotonous and I needed a creative outlet. Through the years a lot of changing and growing has happened. The blog has grown - I've gone from 10 readers to around 5,000 a day. I got my Master's of Library and Information Science. I changed positions in the library system I have worked for since graduating college. Along with all of this my depression and anxiety have gotten out of control.
I've written about my problems with depression and anxiety before, but I live in more "dark days" as I prefer to call them than anything lately. I cry a lot. I don't want to move from the couch most days. My day job has suffered and I've been unhappy for a very long time. I've come to the point where I finally think I know what I need to do... take a break from all that it means to be craftyminx and re-assess.
For so long I got so much satisfaction from my little alter ego's world. I LOVE crafting, and selling my crafts, and teaching others about crafts but I'm tired of living in both worlds. I can either go full force into craftyminx, or full force into my professional life as a librarian. I can't do both anymore.
So why not quit my job and go 100% into craftyminx? While I enjoy it, it has always been a hobby. I feel like blogging for money and having an awesome crafty empire is just not for me. I would love for it to be for me, but at the end of the day I don't have an entrepreneur's mind set, and while the thought of being my own boss might be enticing, I prefer (and need) stability. I miss being able to sit down and make something and not think about how I can make it easier for re-producing it for shows or how many new readers I can get from blogging about it. Crafting needs to be what I do for fun, not what I do for money.
Later that day, I went to lunch with Sheldon. I was super depressed. I had applied for a librarian position, I had thoughts of shutting down craftyminx, but wasn't really sure how I felt about any of it until he asked this... "What will make you happiest?" I'd never thought about this. I had been depressed for so long that I just wanted to be happy, I'd never thought about what would make me happiest. After giving it thought I realized that quitting craftyminx wouldn't help because I need it as an outlet. Quitting my job and doing craftyminx full time wouldn't make me happiest either because I need stability. However, being a librarian would make me happiest. Having a stable income, being able to buy a bigger house, and hopefully starting a family would make me happiest. And sure enough, the minute my mind was made up, I got an interview and posted that I was taking a break from the blog.
I read (skimmed) a ton of books to help me prepare and to get me back in the "librarian" mind-set. I searched for common interview questions and practiced my reference and reader's advisory skills. The interview was great!! Probably one of the best interviews I've ever had and I left feeling like I had probably nailed it. I tried to keep those thoughts out of my head though because I've had too many friends get interviewed numerous times for librarian jobs and not get them. I didn't want to be super depressed if I didn't get it.
My interview attire
And then two days later I was told that I got it! It was like every dark cloud that had been hanging over my head had been lifted. Not only is this this a great move for me but it is also my dream job. The position is for the young adult programming librarian at a smaller more community centered library in our system. Oh and I start March 19th. It's quite a drive from our house so I'm not looking forward to the commute but it will be worth it because I'll be working with a great staff in a great environment. I have always wanted to be a young adult librarian so I'm thrilled that I actually got a position that I wanted.
So what does all of this mean for craftyminx? Like I said in my last post, I'm not 100% sure yet. I don't know what kind of pull this position is going to have on my life. I do know this... I'm taking it easy in the beginning. Posting may be sporadic until I get into a groove. My goal is to at least post a really great content filled post once a week until I get everything under control. I'm going to be reading a lot for the next couple of months to help get in the young adult librarian mindset. Someone wanted to see book reviews on the blog so that might be something that will start appearing, if you all are interested in young adult books.
A little light reading for the new librarian
The great thing about craftyminx is that it is all me so as I change and evolve the blog will do the same. This is why I don't have blog sponsors or consider myself a top-blogger. In fact, I've never made money from the blog. I probably spend more on it than I should to be completely honest. This is just a hobby and it will always continue to be just a hobby.
The biggest change won't really be something that readers will notice. I'm quitting all of my craftyminx business stuff. This means no more shows and no more making stuff to sell. I don't have time for it. I barely have time to make anything for myself anymore. I will most likely open up an on-line clearance shop to get rid of current stock and some supplies, but after that I'll be done. I can't continue to put all this effort into something that I know I don't want to be my full time job.
So there you have it - A look in to my head, a professional goal completed, and some changes. Sorry if that was all a little too much for you. It's just something I've been trying to put into words for awhile now. Later tonight or tomorrow I'm going to announce something pretty fun that will give me some more time to work on stuff without letting the blog go and let you all get to work some crafting magic. It's pretty exciting so stay tuned!